F.A.C.E.B.O.O.K.

Yesterday I "announced" the closing of my Facebook account. I was hoping for some responses of people wishing to keep in contact, but was excited and flattered to have people actually question my reasons as to why I am leaving Facebook.

I really wasn't going to make a big deal of it, but am more than willing to share my thinking behind my decision. It's been a long time coming and the benefits of Facebook have been what have kept me from it in the past. I love keeping in contact with people, seeing pictures, etc. I also LOVE that my Grandma is on Facebook. Isn't that awesome? But, what finally pushed me to a decision last night was realizing that the benefits did not outweigh the negatives I find in my own life from Facebook. Here are the main reasons:

Focus.
     I don't like that Facebook fights for my focus. With my friends, with my family, but especially with my kids. My selfish desires to do what I want to do makes me a grouchy mama. I don't want my girls growing up thinking that I am half listening to whatever they say because I am reading Facebook on the computer....or on my phone. Ridiculous. Why do I need Facebook on my phone? 

Attitude.
     My attitude towards people (even my friends and family) is judgmental when reading their posts. Not every post, of course. But when it is particularly read as "bragging" or a highlight of what a good mom they are because of the kale and broccoli smoothie their kid ate for lunch while the closest I can get my kid to eat is vegetable chips, I find myself not loving them the way that Christ wants me to and instead, being judgmental and angry. 

Comparison.
     Going back to the highlights of other people, I am constantly finding myself comparing what a good mom/wife/skinny, sexy woman I am against others. Why can't I be the gorgeous, skinny pregnant woman who has a perfect little bump and goes back to size ZERO after they have their baby? Why can't I be the mom who LIKES to play with their kids all day and does amazing crafts and projects? Why can't I be the wife who arranges for date nights and date weekends all the time and declares their love for their husband publicly? Should people be allowed to post these things? OF COURSE! But, again.....my attitude is not loving. And it's not an attitude of contentment. I am confident in the mom/wife/woman God made me and am happy with the lessons He teaches me through bouts of struggles with those things. But, reading them constantly on Facebook does not help my focus be on Christ.

Edifying.
     Sometimes I can see what others post or comment on people's pages that I don't know. I know that I can change the settings, but I just don't. And a lot of the times....some of the quotes, pictures, articles, etc. are not edifying. If I am not running to Christ, then I am running away from Him. Sure, I can choose not to look at these things, but guess what! I am only human. And there is a very real part of me that WANTS to laugh at those jokes that are just "wrong" or read "50 Shades of Grey" because EVERYONE keeps posting about it. Those things are tempting to me. And I don't need it.

Bitter.
     Have you noticed that all of these reasons have a lot to do with my attitude? It's true. I don't like the way I act with Facebook. I get bitter when someone seems to do a better job at something. Dinner. Jokes. Clothes. Sewing projects. Whatever.

Opinions.
     This is a big one. It should be said that of course I value having friends and family with very different opinions than me. Opinions on religion, opinions on politics, on books, on fashion, on drinking, on sexual orientation. The list goes on and on. And I strive to love those who have different opinions than me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. We have all heard that saying a million times. And while I believe it to be true, I don't believe that I need to feel like I am a bigot for thinking the way I do. It seems to me that many of my friends on Facebook seem to assume I feel the same way about everything as them. So when they post something mocking my politics, pro-abortion, anti-religion or a graphic description as to why they are homosexual, it goes without saying that I feel my defenses rise up. I could say something. But, when they have 52 people giving it a thumbs up and responding in ways that I find offensive, I already feel like it's a losing battle. And because I am human, I replay those graphic details, pictures, etc. in my head.  I am sure many of my Christian friends reading this are thinking, "well, influence them! Pray for them! Don't hide by canceling your account!" To which I respond.....that is the EXACT reason I haven't canceled up until now. I kept thinking I could be a light in the Facebook world. Of course I can. But, I haven't been. And my angry feelings towards annoying posts tend to shine through instead.

Only Facebook friends.
     I don't like having friends ONLY on Facebook. I need face to face or even letter to letter contact. This social networking phenomenon has taken so much from personal relationships. If I don't talk to someone in a long time, I am more likely to go on their Facebook page and check up on them than sending them a letter or giving them a call. Those things, I think, are ways that I can love those around me.

Kids.
     I want to be present 100% of the time. I don't want my kids seeing me attached to technology. If I am not obsessively checking how many people commented on my last status update, I might actually be patient with my kids. And I won't miss something else that my hilarious 3 year old says everyday. Those things I want to remember.

So there you have it, folks. They may not sound like good reasons to you, but they are my reasons, nonetheless.

It should also be said that I do not stand in judgement of anyone having a Facebook account. I know MANY people who DO use their Facebook pages in such effective ways. I admire them. I just know I am not one of them.