Not Me! Monday

Inspired by Mckmama.

This last week, I did NOT have to bite my tongue from wanting to ask for ketchup to eat with my steak and potato at Outback. As my husband said, that would be a totally 'hick' thing to do, so obviously, I did NOT do that.

I did not find various objects in Miriam's mouth this week after I left her alone for FLIPPING TWO SECONDS. As I have stated numerous times on my blog, I am an avid cleaner and there is absolutely no way that I would have missed a day....ok, several days......ok, a week.....ok, a couple weeks of vacuuming. No way. And amongst the list of objects I did not find in my daughter's mouth, beads, glue pieces from a package and pieces of a coaster were not present.

When Miriam decided one night that she didn't want to go to sleep and decided to sit up in her bed, grasp the bars, cry for Mama and stick her face out as far as it could humanly go in a crib, I most definitely did not wish that I had my camera present. I would never wish to capture her tears on camera. That seems mean.

This last week, I did not have a dream that Daniel and I robbed millions of dollars from a bank. And then I made him feel guilty by telling him it was such a bad example for our daughter, so he agreed to return it as long as I would agree to selling some of my eggs, which I proceeded to remove myself in a public restroom dressed as an alias so as not to get arrested for robbing the bank. If I HAD dreamed this, it would be funny for two reasons. One: It is a constant joke in our family that Daniel would like me to sell some eggs because, apparently, they pay quite a load of money. Two: Why would I ever dream that we achieved money through some other means than the lottery or something? I mean, it's not like we need money so desperately that I would dream we would rob a bank. While sleeping in my parents' basement.