Miriam's Memo; Lesson One

"Helping" Your Parents

Tip 1:
When helping someone load the dishes in the dishwasher, carefully watch them place it in the rack and then carelessly remove it for further inspection. If the dish passes your inspection, throw it on the floor or anywhere else you see fit. If the dish does not pass your inspection, throw it on the floor or anywhere else you see fit.

And always make sure you have one butt cheek hanging out of your diaper. It gives the onlookers something to enjoy.

Tip 2:
When assisting in brushing your own teeth, whine profusely until Mommy gives you the toothbrush yourself. The strawberry banana toothpaste is a wonderful after dinner treat. Suck that puppy dry.

Tip 3:
When helping Daddy do 'fixer upper' things, crawl right by his head and talk loudly so he knows you are there to help.

Sit back and assess the project to give further advice.

Give Daddy a reassuring hand on the back. Sometimes he needs to know you think he's doing a good job.

When he doesn't seem to hear you telling him you are available to assist, make sure you get right in his face. Sometimes Daddy zones out.

When you realize that Daddy is not fixing the sink, but actually installing locks to keep you out of your 'fun zone,' climb in his lap. He will get a kick out of how cute you are and may possibly forget what he's doing.